mymompickedthisurl:

liaaxoo:

I hate when I misplace my glasses because then I’m forced to walk around looking like I’m suspicious of everything in the room

whattabout you, cabinet? huh, you sketchy piece of shit? did you take ‘em?

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  • 32 minutes ago
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  • 18 hours ago
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punkbunnies:

senior year of high school i had the battiest old lady for my ap lit class and we had to get up and present a poem and i totally forgot to memorize one so i got up in the front of the room and recited “hotel california” word for word with a straight face and everyone was like cracking up and the teacher gave me a hundred for being “insightful and poetic”

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  • 18 hours ago
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dearborns:

foxnewsofficial:

they should replace hospital gowns with colourful mexican ponchos because they’re kinda similar and no one could be sad 

if we’re gonna die let’s die looking like a peruvian folk band

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  • 1 day ago
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i don’t care if you’re 13 or 26 on tumblr we’re all the same age

unless you are 12.9

yeah if you’re 12.9 get out

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  • 1 day ago
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somethinghorrible:

tHERES A SKELETON INSIDE MY BODY RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD

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  • 1 day ago
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